Read Time:5 Minute, 48 Second
1. Be proactive
2. Have the end in mind
3. First things first
4. Think Win/Win
5. Seek first to understand, then be understood
6. Synergize (Create)
7. Sharpen the Saw
– [ ] Personal Mission Statement
– “Principles are guidelines” – essentially, what are your principles?
– P/PC – Production/Production Capability – Effectiveness lies in the balance of the two.
– Proactive language:
– Let’s look at our alternatives
– I can choose a different approach
– I control my own feelings
– I will choose an appropriate response
– I choose
– I prefer
– I will
– Between the stimulus and response, you have the freedom to choose.
– 3 kinds of problem we face:
– 1) Direct (our own behavior) – work through our habits 1, 2, 3.
– 2) Indirect (Other’s behavior) – Changing methods of influence, habits 4,5,6
– 3) No Control (We can’t do anything like past or reality) – changing our way of thinking, smile!
– Take initiative, Take responsibility
2. Begin with an End in Mind
– It means – Start with a clear understanding of your destination
– All things are created twice – first in your head, then it becomes physical.
– Personal leadership – ongoing process of keeping your vision and value before you
– “A man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life, and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life, he can only respond by being responsible.”
– Principles don’t react to anything. As a principle-centered person, you try to stand apart from the emotion of the situation and from other factors that would act on you, and evaluate the options
– People can’t live with change unless there is not a changeless core inside them
– Writing is an activity that helps bridge and integrates the conscious and subconscious minds. Writing distills, crystallizes, and clarifies thought and helps break the whole into parts.
– An effective goal primarily focuses on results rather than activity.
3. Put First Things First
– Be an effective manager of yourself. You are a disciple, a follower of your own deep values.
– Organize and execute around priorities
– Focus on Quadrant II activities – IMPORTANT BUT NOT URGENT
– Important – results oriented
– To get time for Quadrant II, start with Quadrant III and Quadrant IV. – Saying “No” to unimportant activities.
– Common problems:
– 1) The inability to prioritize
– 2) The inability or desire to organize around those priorities
– 3) The lack of discipline to execute around them
– >>> But, it is actually that people don’t put prioritize ahead. You have to internalize your priorities
– How to organize and execute? >>> Have a good quadrant II tool.
– Coherent with your mission and values, roles and goals, desires
– Balance of roles
– Can track Quadrant II priorities (On a weekly basis)
– People dimension – You think efficiency in dealing with time, you think effectiveness in dealing with people. Your tool needs to reflect the value of people over schedule. (girlfriend breakup story)
– Daily adapting
– Long term organizing: Mission Statement ==> Roles ==> Goals
– Short Term Weekly Organizing: Roles ==> Goals ==> Plans (Schedule or Delegate)
– How to delegate?
– “Many people refuse to delegate to other people because they feel it takes too much time and effort and they could do the job better themselves. But effectively delegating to others is perhaps the single most powerful high-leverage activity there is.”
– Micro-manage v stewardship delegation
– Desired results (What, not how; Results, not method)
– Guidelines – tell the failures, don’t reinvent the wheel, tell them what NOT to do, but not TO dos)
– Accountability – standards of evaluation, reports and when
– Consequences – good and bad.
– QUADRANT II:
– Proactive work
– High-impact goals
– Creative Thinking
– Planning and prevention
– Relationship building
– Learning and Renewal
4. Think Win/Win – and outgrowth of the abundance mentality
1. Our most constant relationships, like marriage, require our most constant deposits.
2. 6 kinds of deposits:
1. Understanding the person – accepting his/her value
2. Attending to the little things
3. Keeping commitments
4. Clarifying expectations
5. Showing personal Integrity – keep promises and fulfill expectations, 裡外合一，前後一至，不要在背後說人家壞話
6. Apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal
3. When we truly love others without condition, without strings, we help them feel secure and safe and validated and affirmed in their essential worth, identity and integrity.
4. Win/Win or No Deal – good for beginning and set expectation
5. Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. (concern for people/concern for tasks)
6. Abundance Mentality – People with scarcity mindset have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power, or profit – even with those who help in the production. They also have a hard time being happy for the successes of other people. (due to focus on comparison)
7. The relationship is key, win-win is not always the best
8. Have a win/win system and processes
5. Seek First to Understand, Then To be Understood
1. If you want to interact effectively with anybody, you need to first understand them.
2. “Let me see if I really understand what your position is and what your concerns about my recommendations are. When you feel I understand them, then we’ll see whether my proposal has any relevance to it.”
3. As long as the response is logical, [the father] can effectively ask questions and give counsel. But the moment the response becomes emotional, he needs to go back to empathic listening.
4. How to be understood? Ethos, pathos, logos
6. Synergize – Creation (whole is better than sum of its parts)
1. The essence to synergy is to value differences – to respect them, to build on strengths and to compensate for weaknesses.
2. How to communicate synergistically? be open-minded
3. Finding the third solution – a higher one.
4. When someone disagrees with you, you can say, “Good! You see it differently.”
5. Value the difference because it adds to your knowledge & understanding of the reality
7. Sharpen the Saw (1 hour a day)
1. expressing in Physical, mental, spiritual, and social
2. Take time to sharpen the saw and balance
1. Exercise – endurance, flexibility, strength (don’t overdo)
2. Eat the right food
3. Rest and relax sufficiently
4. Spiritual: your core, center, value system, inspire and uplift you
1. Everybody is different
2. read, meditate, pray, etc .
5. Mental: reading, writing, planning and reviewing , visualizing
1. Serve other humans with unconditional love
2. Script others – see them in potentials
7. A life of integrity is the most fundamental source of personal worth. Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way
8. “Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth”
9. LEarn > Commit > Do – renewal is the principle and the process that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.